I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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