how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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