there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
