Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
