Sponge bath it is.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
