I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
