I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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