i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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