What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
