I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
