If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
