Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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