haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
