i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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