I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
