FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
