Farmville is her only friend.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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