One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
