last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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