just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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