Non-Jews are for practice
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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