i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
