Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
