If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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