walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
