he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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