The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
