It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
