Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
