I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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