Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
