Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
