White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
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