i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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