I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
