Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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