Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
