he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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