I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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