Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My ass is underappreciated
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
