He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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