They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
