is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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