Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
