physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
