I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
