the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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