Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
