hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Its about making memories worth repressing
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
