Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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