I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
